Gold stars for you both!

My day was made by two random people that I saw and neither of them did anything for me directly.

The first person I saw while out on a bike ride as I was helping my friend Chelsey to collect leaves and sticks so that she can make some kind of art project. Just at the bottom of a hill overlooking the Edmonton river-valley is where I saw the first guy. We were at the crossroads of the bike path and a set of long, wooden stairs. Either I could shift to low gear and ride the wide zig-zag up the hill or pick up my bike and hoof it up the stairs. I, being the impatient one that I am, decided to take the stairs. An older Chinese man, about 50-55 years old dressed in a long sleeved button-up shirt with black slacks rolled up mid-calf and crocks, carrying a plastic bag with a few newly purchased goods, was running up the lower set of stairs to where I was standing beside my bike, shoving some sticks into my back-pack. He seemed in a hurry, so I got out of his way. He passed me and started walking up the longer top section of stairs. I lifted my bike over-head and took the stairs two at a time, Rambo style, politely excusing myself as I passed the guy. At the top, I waited for my friend to slowly bike up. Here’s the part that made my day: the man got to the top, noticeably sweating, and he turned around and went back down the hundred or so stairs.

So many people see working out as impossible without the right equipment. Running requires good shoes. Working out of any kind requires an athletic shirt and maybe some spandex pants or shorts. You need protein supplements, diet plans, workout partners, gym memberships, a bowflex, dumbbells, heart rate monitor, weird fanny-pack with water bottle holsters and other nick-nacks. This old guy (I’m 24, over 40 is old to me, sorry) was running harder than most over-30s I know, in crocks and his work clothes, and that is why he’ll probably never get a heart-attack or shoot up insulin after every meal.

The second person I saw was a middle-aged lady in the Starbucks I am currently sitting in. She had one of a pair of the comfy, soft chairs that everyone always wants to sit in. I usually see people at tables get up and switch spots whenever someone vacates these chairs. A couple carrying a baby in a big basket thing came in and ordered coffees and, without being asked, this lady more or less forces the comfy chairs on the couple just because she thinks it is a more convenient spot for them to sit and have their baby close by them.

I liked this so much because the lady wasn’t asked and the couple made no gesture towards the chairs. She was actively thinking about people other than herself and just wanted to try and help someone else.

Seeing these people do these small things made a huge impact on me today. Just thought I would share it.

Jonathan Robinson
Edmonton, Alberta, Canada
www.silentriverkungfu.com

Impatient

I’ve noticed that by not being lazy as a wander about on my daily errands, I can get a lot of working out squeezed in and still be on schedule or even ahead.

Most days I go to university. If it is nice out, I ride my bike and get a 20 minute workout. This is actually faster than taking transit. The bus to school would take about half an hour, and the subway takes at least 20 including walking to the stop. When I have to walk places (like to my car that I have to park 3 blocks away because my building has no parking grumble grumble grumble) I usually run there if I can.

When I get to the school, I can either ride a couple escalators up, with about 60 other people, slowly riding up, or I can take the abandoned staircase. If I take them two at a time, I can usually get to the top before the quickest escalator rider.  The same thing goes for the elevator when going to classes.

I think the main difference between me and the person taking to lazy way is that I am just too impatient to wait behind a crown trying to get on to an escalator, or an elevator that stops at every floor, or to walk slowly when I’d rather be there now instead of still walking there.

On that note, as someone who likes to use their legs, this Sunday I am renting a wheelchair and spending the day in it to see how that feels. My guess is I’ll feel pretty trapped. Maybe it’s a good day to try that escalator again.

Jonathan Robinson
Edmonton, Alberta, Canada
www.silentriverkungfu.com

Midterm time again

So I have finally discovered how to study effectively! I have to put in earplugs to block out audible distractions, sit facing a white wall or a corner to avoid visual distractions, study in an isolated area or someplace where I don’t expect to see people I know to avoid social distraction and shut off all electronic devices and put them out of sight (except maybe my i-pod, which can only play classical guitar with no vocals on a very low volume setting) to avoid those many distracters. Basically, I have to come as close to putting myself in a white room with no windows or doors, alone with only my books, as I can.

Coffee also helps.

Jonathan Robinson
Edmonton, Alberta, Canada
www.Silentriverkungfu.com

Seize The Day, then cram it full of stuff

So I’ve been on the road for the past week on a fantastic road-trip. We left Edmonton on the 27^th and headed west. We crossed the mountains and kept going on to the coast. After boarding a ferry in Vancouver, we drove to the furthest point of Vancouver island, a town called Tofino. This town is known for surfing all year round. The water is cold and wetsuits are worn at all times to keep from freezing. We surfed three times in two days and were utterly wiped from it. A lot of fun but I’m not a fish so it’s tiring. We are now on the leg back.

The best part about this trip has been how much we have done. We have not slept past 9am this trip and have been up at 6 on a couple days. even with drive time, we have so much time to spend doing things that are fun. Let me think for a second on what we’ve done so far (in no real order)… we saw the mountains, stayed at the Banff Springs hotel for cheap, enjoyed many great breakfasts, surfed a few times, walked everywhere we could, touched exotic animals in the Vancouver zoo, seen Vancouver for the first time, climbed a totem pole, climbed rocks in an inland stream, drank from said stream, visited a few people we know, took a million photographs, bought a ridiculously comfy pair of shoes, tried a dozen different kinds of ice-cream, picked up trash that wasn’t ours, walked among the dinosaurs, touched an eagle, climbed the rigging of an old-style sailing vessel, touched a sea anemone, swam in the ocean, ate liege waffles, panned for gold, rode a quad, pet a main-coon cat, watched a few artists at work, listened to live music being busked into my ears, slept in a church parking lot, ate some of the best food around, and more that I can’t remember right now. The best part is that I feel like the trip should have been done by now but we still have a couple days left! Might go see some aquatic life in an aquarium and climb a mountain still.

It is amazing how much can be fit into one day.

Jonathan Robinson
www.silentriverkungfu.com
Edmonton, Alberta, Canada

Sucks to your ass-mar!

Asthma is really kicking up a notch these last couple days. The province of BC is up in flames and all of the smoke is drifting in so being outside is like being at a campfire where the smoke is always in your face, no matter where you move. I don’t really notice my asthma lately except for special occasions like this smoke. Since I joined kung fu, I have taken anything I can learn about breathing, how to full my lungs, how to pace myself with my breath and my activity, and expecially how to be active while breathing deep constantly, never taking short, quick breaths. Kung fu has definitely shown me how to use my asthmatic lungs in much more efficient ways and without it, I’d still be puffing away all of the time. If you know anyone with asthma, tell them to join right now

Jonathan Robinson
www.silentriverkungfu.com           
Edmonton, Alberta, Canada

UBBT: Sooooooooooo...

Soooooooooooo, I’ve missed a few. I could tell you about the reasons why, but it doesn’t really matter when I think about it. Excuses don’t really have a spot in UBBT, but that doesn’t mean that I haven’t been making them to myself. I’m not out of the test, since that’s impossible, but I have been down for a bit. Feeling very unfocused and without drive lately. Luckily, I now live with Mr. Craig Janzen who all but physically sat me down at my computer and told me to write a blog since I’ve been off the ball for so long. Time for some pushups and then sleep now

Jonathan robinson
www.Silentriverkungfu.com
Edmonton, Alberta, Canada

UBBT: Highlight of the Day

In the kid’s class the other day we were having a run. We do this every couple of weeks, make the class run 2km around the building so that they can try and beat their previous best time. I was in chare of watching one of the corners so that none of our students would get hit by a car and, of course, I quickly became bored. I pointed at one of them at random and said, “I’m holding this crane stance until you finish your lap, so hurry up!” I almost lost my balance at one point and had to catch myself just as Mr. Garcia came around the corner. “Losing your balance?” he asked. “Almost” I replied. “Maybe you should bend your supporting leg.” This is something we tell them in class whenever we do crane stance. I just had to laugh that the 10-year-old yellow belt just corrected my stance. He was entirely correct, so I said that and thanked him.  Highlight of my day, although I guess you would’ve had to be there.

Jonathan Robinson

www.silentriverkungfu.com

Edmonton, Alberta, Canada 

UBBT: Biking is Fun

So there I was, racking up the kms on my bike when all of a sudden my rear axle snapped. To clarify, it was a bicycle, not motorbike.  My rear wheel tilted to one side and the tire was rubbing on the frame.  Not wanting to be cheated out of my workout, I did my best to force it up the steep hill towards the nearest LRT station. My good friend Vahn rode slowly behind me and laughed as my pedals were grinding, everything at the wrong angle. The bearings started to fall out as I reached the halfway point and he laughed harder. Stubbornly, I pushed on. I ran my bike up the final quarter as it was too steep ride my broken bike. I laid the bike down near a dumpster, salvaged my trip-meter, bell, lock and seat and tossed the rest in the trash. I guess I need to fork over some more money to get a new bike.

On the plus side, I have a macbook, 32g ipod touch and printer in the mail and should be receiving them tomorrow! The ipod and printer were a steal of a deal with the education discount. Excited!

Jonathan Robinson

www.silentriverkungfu.com

Edmonton, Alberta, Canada

Missing the place

I am seeing just how much of a product or reflection of my environment I am lately. I’ve been missing a ton of classes due to work. The hours are running long more often than not, so getting to my class is becoming a pretty rare occurrence. It was easy in the lower belts as I lived very close and had the money to spare to be in a kung fu class 4 or 5 days of the week. Now that I’m in the sihing class, which runs once a week, and instructing the kids, where I focus on their training instead of my own, and living in the city with the tricky hours, I notice how much I need to be immersed in the kwoon. The atmosphere of hard work and good attitude within the walls of our training hall do so much to keep me motivated, focused and with a goal in mind. The less I go, the fuzzier it becomes, the less clear my focus is and the further I stray from the path to mastery in my kung fu. I don’t like this feeling of detachment. I think that I need to find another way to get my fix of the community. (writing really helps in the thinking process, I notice. Tangent, pay no attention to it). Time to catch up on my blog reading/writing and whatnot. Maybe that will help.


Also, my car is dead in the water for the second time in as many weeks, so wish me luck in getting it fixed

Jonathan Robinson

www.silentriverkungfu.com

Edmonton, Alberta, Canada

Mastery

Every since I memorized that Quote on Mastery, I have been finding myself repeating it over and over in my head. When I wake up, I’m saying it. When I drive someplace, I’m saying it. Wherever I am and whatever I am doing, especially when I least expect it, it pops into my head. If I hear a word or phrase that is similar to one in the quote, I instantly start repeating that line or paragraph. I know I was supposed to memorize it as a requirement for attaining my blackbelt (as I typed that I thought “correction is essential in the process of attaining mastery”) but what Sifu Brinker forgot to mention is that I was actually inserting a stalker directly into my brain.


I can see the point of this exercise now that it’s worming its way deeper into my brain. I realize that it is almost impossible to memorize something without thinking about it, even if you don’t try to. I’m not intentionally analyzing it, but I find myself doing it without meaning to. I read and re-read and repeated and wrote down and said out-loud that page of writing (14pt font, single spaced) so many times that my eyes went fuzzy and my brain ached. Plus side: it’s stuck in my head and not going anywhere, so I can review it at my leisure now



Jonathan Robinson

www.silentriverkungfu.com

Edmonton, Alberta, Canada

UBBT: On It

Whoops, I dropped the ball a bit with my blogging. But, no worries. I picked it up.


So, what has happened that’s noteworthy…

Sparring at the Ging Wu in Edmonton. Just like last year, it was a riot. Learned some specifics about San Shou rules in competition, tried a few new takedowns and (my favourite) got a chance to spar some people that I don’t spar every day. While it was a “light” contact seminar, there were still a few people with some bruised ribs and the wind knocked out of them. The guys at the Ging Wu are very quick and really fun to spar. I had a lot of fun, to say the least.

Our school tournament is coming up as well. This year I’m not only competing in it, but helping to make things run smoother as much as I can, mainly with the kids’ competitions, but with the rest if I’m needed. It’s always exciting to compete against the rest of the school, especially since the Onoway branch of Silent River comes out as well and we rarely get a chance to mix it up.

What else? I’ve been working on my forms more and the more I do, the more I realize that everything I do is wrong. Luckily, it’s not all bad, and I can fix it. I have many new insights into how the form actually works that I didn’t catch the first time around. All of the subtleties are being made clear and the connections to the 6 harmonies are making more sense.

I’m going to have to make a few extra blog posts to make up for the ones that I have missed in the last week. I know that doesn’t technically make up for missing, but it’s a good step I think.

Jonathan Robinson

www.SilentRiverKungFu.com

Edmonton, Alberta, Canada

UBBT: Haymaker Play

We had a very interesting Sihing class the other day. We were told to do a defence against a haymaker, so we did, over and over and over again. Eventually, the sifu tells us to experiment with locks after we have completed the technique and to try and get the other person to submit on the ground. After that vague instruction, we started experimenting and trying new things, which turned out to be things we already knew but applied in ways that we hadn’t tried yet! The exciting part is that because we already have played around with locking the joints in the arm and transitioning from each lock, and as we have knowledge of how to escape from some locks, we had a good 20 minutes of full out experimentation, with rolls and twists, laughs and sore shoulders and wrists. It was a great reminder of how we need to use our imagination if we want to put the “art” into “martial art”.


Jonathan Robinson

www.silentriverkungfu.com

Edmonton, Alberta, Canada

UBBT: Weeeellllllllllllll

Weellllll, looks like winter is actually over, but how do we really know? Part of me wants to say the ground will dry up soon and the weather will stay warm, but the smart part of me says that we have at least another snowfall coming up. Alberta winters don’t go gently into that good night. The point is I am out on my bike because there’s no deadly ice! I’ve been racking up the kms, doing between 5 and 20 kms a day for the past week. My km count, which is lacking, is now catching up at an awesome rate!


Also, just hung up the heavy bag again, using springs from my roommate’s trampoline as shock absorbers so that my garage ceiling doesn’t cave in. Now I just need a way to tether that bouncy thing to the concrete floor. Anyone have a concrete drill I could borrow?

Jonathan Robinson

www.silentriverkungfu.com

Edmonton, Alberta, Canada

Because we can

We had our annual (2nd year running) forms marathon the other day. Basically, forms have to be done for 24 hours straight, with no breaks. It’s a group effort, luckily, and as one person ends, another begins. It was a really fun time, and we were all joking around while sharing our knowledge of the forms. My shift was from 1-330am and me and Craig were already sleepy by the time we arrived, but quickly woke up. There were a few close calls, but luckily we didn’t drop the ball. We tried to have at least 2 people going at a time as we had 4-6 people there with us. Even with all of the help, I almost ruined the night early on. I’d decided to try kempo in mirror image, and I got through parts one and two, but at the side-heel in part three I lost focus on what move came next. It’s really hard to do a form mirrored. By that time everyone was watching me out of curiosity and I had to call for help as I was starting to stutter in my moves and almost stopped. Luckily someone caught the ball as I dropped it, just in time.


Something I noticed about doing something like this and trying to explain it to others is that it’s a hard concept to grasp. I told a few people at work as we were talking about our plans for the evening. I told them about the marathon and they asked why I was doing it. Is it to raise money? Awareness? To set a record? Why oh why am I doing kung fu at 1am? There always seems to be a need for a reason to do something like this, but in reality we didn’t have a grand purpose to it. There is no charity receiving a cheque, no penalty for failing at it, not big prize for succeeding. We did it just because we can. Does there need to be a better reason than that?

Jonathan Robinson

www.silentriverkungfu.com

Edmonton, Alberta, Canada

UBBT: Wicked Fun

It’s the same thing every time exams roll around. I study, I study and I feel like if I am not trying to study that I’m being a bad student. I basically guilt myself into focusing solely on my studies and not on anything else, including my kung fu. Today was different. I wrote one exam, drove to kung fu and stayed for all of the classes, pretty much 4 hours of kung fu whether I was participating, helping someone out or watching. I ran two warm-ups, with one of them a tag-team between me and Craig. He was in the back of the room, I was in the front. We’d pass the class back and forth by doing 180 degree jumps from horse stance. I worked hard today. The best part is it was sparring class in ALL of the classes! Bonus! Sparred a bunch of people I almost never spar and some that I haven’t sparred until tonight! Sparred some people with really good blocking, awesome aggression and just wicked fighting spirit for everyone there too. I arrived at Kung Fu a little down in the dumps and lethargic and I left feeling so pumped up and vibrating from the good energy. This just slaps me in the face with a reminder that I can’t neglect one part of my well-being for another as they are all connected. It’s simple, and I sometimes think I understand, but it takes a wicked class like today’s to really drive it in deep. Total, a handful of forms, couple handfuls of sparring and about 270 push/situps in that time. Wee!


Jonathan Robinson

www.silentriverKungfu.com

Edmonton, Alberta, Canada

UBBT: Thank You Muchly!

So received a little gift from someone on our UBBT team. The note said it was to fulfill one of their challenges which was a few anonymous good deeds to fellow teammates. I had finished doing the kid’s classes and was about to leave when Sifu Wonsiak pointed out that there was an envelope with my name on it at the table by the equipment closet. I opened it and inside was the mentioned note and a 100$ giftcard for SaveOnFoods. I’ve mentioned a recently about how I’m short on money and not eating well lately because of that and someone heard and helped out, so I want to send my thanks to Someone. Thank you! I bought many cheap and healthy things and am eating some fried veggies from that stash right now! I originally thought I knew who it was that had left this awesome gift, but now I’m not so sure… I’ve got a new prime suspect now. I’m not going to try and uncover the mystery though, it’s meant to be anonymous and they deserve their secrecy. Again, thank you very much! I will be able to eat for a couple weeks at least on what I bought from that.


Jonathan Robinson
http://www.silentriverkungfu.com/
Edmonton, Alberta, Canada

UBBT: Worth 1 more good deed point?

I start my first professional term tomorrow morning. My IPT, me being a student teacher, is one of the more important things to do with my degree. It’s the first day and they highly recommend being well rested and guess what: my roommates who needed me to pick them up from the airport at 11 are now landing at 1:45am. So much for being well rested. I’m going to go pass out in my bed until then, and as I’m falling asleep I’ll ask myself if this is worth it for my 1000 good deeds requirement.


On a positive note, with the snow melting at this rate, I’ll be able to bike to my student teaching which is across the river and 8.5km away. With my new inner tube and trip-meter for my bike, I’m stoked to get on the trails again.

UBBT: Our Banquet

I don't know about the rest of you, but last night's banquet was by far the most enjoyable one yet. First I want to congradulate the new Sifus again. You all did so well! The demos on stage were fantastic! I especially like the part-by-part renditions of Lao Gar and Kempo. The Kempo one was kind of surreal because the two not doing the form were constantly moving, hands moving in and out almost pulsing, breathing in unison. It was just a really interesting effect. Broadswords, spears, butterfly knives, sticks, bokkens, feet and fists were all flying around that stage to full effect. The intensity was there to the Nth degree.

The lion dance was just hilarious when the lion was drunk. The facial expressions on that lion, with its mouth hanging open, it one I’ve seen on many of my friends and in the mirror a few times as well. Also, sweet reference to Night at the Roxbury! And as always, those guys pulled off some pretty sweet moves up there.
Watching the kid’s demos from the wings of the stage was both stressful and energizing. I was holding my breath through the beginner black dragons because I choreographed it. I made a couple changes to the line-up while in the basement and one of the Tiny Tigers someone snuck in to the group, but overall I think they did great. If anyone was sitting to the front of the room and right of the stage, they might have seen me rocking out to the music for those demos as well. I was having way too much fun.
Aside from what was on stage, the entire night was just an awesome experience. A huge number of students, me included, volunteered to help set up, mind tables, do odd-jobs, clean up, and just keep the place running smoothly all night. All of us helpers were talking and laughing while cleaning up and it went by so fast. There was a definite sense of community and we showed it by making ourselves a part of the celebration, being a part of it and owning it.
Happy Year of the Tiger! We definitely started it off right.

Happy Year of the Tiger!

I wish you a Happy Chinese New Year! 过你新年快乐！


As is the tradition with our school, 1000 pushups and situps. I just so happen to be awake right now and have done 200 of each so far. The rest will get done as soon as I wake up and throughout the day.

Also, it’s V-day. Good luck to everyone in getting through this holiday intact. Happy V-day!

UBBT: Herding Cats

Our school’s Chinese New Year celebration and black belt promotion ceremony is coming up way to fast. I’m not one of those moving up to black belt this year, and I wish them all the luck I have to offer, but I get to make the Demo for the beginner kid’s class. This task of getting about 30 kids in age from 6 to 11 to perform a choreographed demo to music on stage is not to be taken lightly, I realize now. Sometimes, making kids do things can feel like trying to herd cats. We’ve been working on it now for a few weeks and I was wondering if I might have started too late, but tonight’s class gave me a bit of much needed hope. I split the class into three groups, each group with a different short combo. I just tried for the first time to put it all together today with the blocking and the cues to come on stage and the music and all the madness that comes with putting this together. I’ve never actually done anything like this and, instead of getting advice or help, I’ve basically just been winging it but it is working. Somehow. The class impressed me today too: I asked them to stand quietly while I figured out each group’s entrance, exit and order on stage and, for the most part, they did. Of course they weren’t perfect, but considering that I asked them to stand still and do nothing, I’m happy with anything short of a riot. There is still a lot to smooth out and a few things to figure out, but it’s going to work.

Dream: Midgets in Bear Suits

I was walking down a street, looking for something. I’m not sure what. I was walking and I came to a parking lot. Someone had set up a stage that was shaped like a submarine that had breached the surface. as I approached, dozens of midgets in bear suits jumped up and started singing and dancing, with full cinematics and chorus lines and lights; it was a sight to behold, both stunningly choreographed and chaotic. They sang and danced and I sat against a block to watch this show that was for me alone. I was entertained and confused and a little disturbed. Then Ryan pranced onto the stage in a black leotard with little white hearts on it, singing the lead. This was really odd because Ryan is very homophobic and would never do this, ever. I was even more confused but laughing my arse off, glad to be sitting or else I’d have collapsed from my aching sides. As I laughed, he leaped onto the box I was leaning against and belted out his finishing lines. Just then, everyone stopped and in the background was Chris Griffin from Family Guy yelling, “I told you: I hate f---ing texts!” The whole show had just been an elaborate text.

UBBT: Short

This past week’s been tough. Midterms and big assignments and whatnot. I’m dropping the ball a little on my physical requirements and need to kick my own butt into gear again. I’ll start by busting out 300 pushups and situps and some Kempo repetitions before I get to bed. This is a really short blog, but I’ll make the next one really long and wordy, maybe even insightful too.

UBBT: Talking to myself, I am

“All his life he looked away to the future, to the horizon. Never his mind on where he was, what he was doing.” Yoda (2:25 on the youtube video)

We talk about being in the moment a lot. “where am I, what am I doing?” These two questions are constantly being put to us in class. It’s a concept I only understand on the superficial level right now. It’s easy to get so fascinated by something and so caught up in it that you are focused, passionate and fully immersed in it… sometimes. It happens to everyone sometimes. The piece that I am trying to figure out is how to be in the moment and fully immersed when I want to be. Part of my nature is being able to get swept away for a short time by something shiny and focus on nothing but that one thing until the next shiny thing comes along. That’s easy. But it’s only a small part of what I think “being in the moment” is. The real trick is to not let that other shiny thing steal my attention.

So I know what it means to be “in the moment”. Theoretically, it’s pretty simple. It’s just putting aside all of the shiny junk—like what I’m having for dinner, my annoying boss, that cute girl in my class—and keeping the moment pure by remembering where I am and what I am doing, be it on the mats in a horse-stance throwing a simple punch and making each punch another significant step towards a perfect punch, or at a table with my books open and pouring over my notes and textbooks to give me the knowledge to be a well rounded teacher. But even though I know what it is, I still don’t understand it.

A thought just came to mind: What about “Why am I doing this?” where does that fit in to The Moment? It’s obviously important, no question of that. But is that a thought that I should sideline while I’m doing something? To go back to Yoda for a second, “All his life he looked away to the future, to the horizon. Never his mind on where he was, what he was doing.” The part I like here is that he doesn’t say to be in The Moment all of the time. To never look to the future, to never cast your eyes to the horizon would just leave you entirely focused on nothing in particular.. Having no thought past where I am and what I’m doing would be disastrous. There is no way to know my intent without thinking of the future, of Why I’m doing this. Without looking ahead there is nothing to drive me forward, but if I only look ahead, how can I get anything done now? All things in moderation.

Being in The Moment is about Doing something. It’s not about Thinking about something. They’re both important, and both very different. Did I answer my own question?

UBBT: Figuring out why "Ultimate" is in the name

Part of this thing, to me, is figuring out new ways to do things that I have to do. What I usually do when I have things to do is assume they will get done eventually. I am noticing, by looking at my UBBT numbers, that things are NOT getting done. I spent a little time and calculated the difference between what I’ve done and what I should be done and it’s… bad. The good news is it’s not woefully bad. That is why I am jumping into a new idea with both feet: I will, every weekday, get up and be at the UofA gym at 7am. There I will do my KMs that are lacking (my excuse is that it’s winter and I can’t run outside or ride my bike and I go places too far to walk), find some open space to do my forms that are lacking (excuse is that I have no room in my house for it), and maybe even do some stretching, push-ups, pull-ups and whatnot just because they are good for me. I’ll have almost an hour before my class on Mon and Wed, nearly two before my classes on Tues and Thurs, and as much time as I like on Friday. I have to remember that if there’s not time in my schedule, I have to change my schedule. Slowly realizing why this is called the ULTIMATE Blackbelt Test.

Side note: A school-wide challenge was sent up by our Sifu Prince to do 1000 kicks this Friday. Just wanted to say I’m in. Should be fun.

Dream: Construction, Malls and Lost Children

I was working on a job in a construction, but my boss was the same as at the restaurant I work at in real life. He was ragging on me about my poor attitude and lack of work ethic when I decided to ignore him and jump off of the scaffolding I was working. As I fell to the ground I noticed nails sticking up from the dirt and slowed myself down so that I could gently step between them, proud of my lithe movements. I walked across the street and bought a sandwich. As I sat there enjoying my sandwich (ham, I think), I wondered if I would get in trouble for ditching work. Just then a guy named Bob was driving a truck with a monstrous load of beams and cables, all connected in the most complex way. It resembled a tree in a way, but all right angled branches. He screwed up a dozen different ways in a very short time. He backed the truck into a pile of building materials, he scraped the truck along a building, knocked over a fire hydrant, smashed into another truck. He did even more and all of it was hilarious to me and everyone around. Eventually he drove on to much of a slant, tipping this huge construct over onto the building we were trying to make. He fell as he got out of the truck and started scolding people for still talking about it, even though it was in the past and happened so long ago, although it had just happened. I wandered into the mall behind me and, still munching my sandwich, started to wander. It was so big that I soon lost my bearings and decided to look for an exit. I noticed many armed guards everywhere and just figured that they must be on the lookout for terrorists. I also took special note of the racial diversity present in their ranks and was quite pleased at the equal opportunity employment. I followed one of the guards to a stairwell that wound down and down, below ground level I assumed. The walls were different, kind of a wood pattern, thought I doubted they were actually wood. “where does this stairway lead?” I asked. He replied simply, “I don’t know.” And kept walking, a look of confusion, anticipation and excitement on his face. He was enjoying exploring as much as I was. At the bottom stood a solitary guard. I asked him where we were. “the whole village” I heard him say. what he actually meant was “the hole village” meaning this small shanty town in the mall’s depths that had a hole in the wall as the entrance to it. Hole village was populated entirely by children. I was flabbergasted at this and asked who the leader was. “Baby Bang” they said, a scattered chorus of children’s voices as they all pointed at one small black kid. He stood up and started to walk towards me. he couldn’t have been older than five years old. “why is he the leader?” and they showed me. he had power to create things. specifically, he reflexively made the opposite of what someone else wished on someone else. On kid demonstrated, wishing their friend was thirsty and they had a bottle of water. I caught on quick, took a deep breath and shouted, “I wish you were all fed, clothed, and taken care of!” a few of them had food appear, a teddybear appear, some clothes. I wondered what happened. The boy had fallen asleep as he was too tired from my request, not having the strength to do it all at once.

UBBT: Break the Cycle

I am definitely not motivated. I’m giving up. I feel myself doing what I usually do when I’m presented with a challenge too great for me to simply coast through. I can feel it: a shadow on the edge of my senses, like a warm hole in the ground, quiet and secure. This thought comes to mind: if I don’t try and I do better than more than half, then that’s actually really good, in a way. My bed is right behind me; flannel sheets, perfectly comfortable pillow, warm duvet. All the thoughts running through my head say to lie down, figure out my stuff in the morning. School, kung fu, the UBBT, upcoming banquet, I have so much reading to do, I should be doing my situps, kempo, it’s all dragging me down. I could just go down with it. lie down in my bed. Eight hours of sleep before I have to get up in the morning—the perfect amount of sleep they say—I can do my workout then; there’ll be time for reading tomorrow at lunch; I can rework my resume next week; I’ll really start to focus after I have a good sleep…………

I just read Master Brinker’s blog. I am the “negative cycle of acceptance” that he’s talking about, not specifically, but it’s a description that I can see fitting me very well. I am nonchalant about failure, about not trying and the excuses for it are everywhere. But I’m starting to realize that there’s no chance of any of this going away. I can’t drop school without sacrificing my future profession and dream of becoming a school councillor, not to mention the respect of my parents. I can’t ignore my current jobs without cutting out everything that they pay for: food, car, roof over my head, school. I can’t drop the UBBT without losing the respect of this group of people that I have spent the last five or so years training with, without cutting off the one thing I haven’t stopped half finished, the one thing that I can’t coast through, without losing the chance to change myself, to stop this cycle of acceptance, to become who I want to be, to become the kind of person I would trust teaching and counselling children through some of the trickiest times of their lives. It’s becoming more and more clear to me that I can’t let any of this drag me down. I have to shoulder it and pick it up. I know I can, I just have to do it.

I’m smart enough to know I can’t do it alone, which is why I joined this thing in the first place. Just by reading a few blogs I am already feeling good about this. I’m not in this to get in shape. I’m in this to change myself on a level far below the surface. Time to stop my b(censored for sensitive readers)ing. I’m here to break this cycle.

Time to do some reading and sit-ups.

Dream: Camping Trip and Enchanted Swords

Me and a group of friends decide to go on a camping trip. The road is tricky and there are large puddles everywhere, enough to hinder the passage of our truck. The truck comfortably holds all fifteen to twenty of us. Eventually we get out to walk. We talk and laugh as we walk down the path. We’re getting close to our campsite and half of the group has crossed over a slow and low river using a rope bridge. as I step up it starts to rain and the river floods. The bridge is being skimmed by the rushing water underneath and I cannot tell which way the water is flowing in the turbulent waves. The last of my friends that have yet to cross as well decide that the bridge is too sketchy and start to swim across instead. I tell them that they are idiots and will be swept downstream and die but they’re unconcerned, 100% carefree. I start to cross, my legs shaking, my hands white-knuckled on the ropes. The water swells up and I hold on as it threatens to sweep me downstream. The bridge, which started out wide with healthy planks under my feet, is now narrow enough for me to grab both sides as I walk, skipping over the broken boards as I hurry across this death trap. I get to the other side and the weather lightens. Downstream I look for my friends, expecting to find nothing. Instead I get there just as they’re climbing up on shore, laughing at how easy it was. I’m amazed that they made it across at all. We keep walking to the campsite. Everyone busies setting up their gear and I wander off. I find myself in a cave where the air is acidic and there are pyres set up for light as I walk down into the darkness. I find a sword. It is huge, about eight feet long, but it weighs nothing in my hand and I swing it freely. The blade is a half foot wide and the edge is razor sharp. The whole blade is covered in mystic and foreign symbols, nothing that I can recognize; they look burnt into the blade, a dark charcoal colour against the shining metal. I’m walking out of the cave when a man with a sword much like mine takes a swing at me. I dodge back but fire leaps from the sword and I barely block it, falling backward into the dirt. The man stabs the pyre and his sword absorbs the fire. He tells me he wants the sword back as it is his, one of a pair. I might have given it back if he’d just asked but now I’m mad that he attacked me. He stabs the sword at me, letting loose a scorching attack. I parry it and absorb the blaze as I spin and lash out with my sword, catching him with his own fire. With this dark man down, I leave the cave with my new prize and wander back to my campsite.

UBBT: Bumpy First Step

Things are starting to work out. This UBBT has had a rocky start for sure but I am figuring things out in my own flawed way. My numbers and tracking system looks like a random mish-mash of data, no two days with a constant number. Some days are below what I want some above. I want to tell myself that I have an entire year to figure it out but that’s the tricky part. The year is very short when taking into consideration all that I have to do. Like I said before, I’m a procrastinator, but I’m trying to change that. so far so good, in my opinion. I’m already getting in a rhythm and I’m never in a rhythm. At least i’m on schedule with my pushups and situps. Some of the other things are lacking a bit right now but they won’t be for long.
At the restaurant I work at, while waiting for the last tab table to leave, I snuck off to the storage room in the basement and did 70 pushups and 3 rounds of kempo. I'm beginning to see how i can use the tiny chunks of time, the five minutes here, the two minutes there, the ten minutes i might have wasted otherwise. And if work continues to be slow like that I should be way ahead in no time.

Dream: Moths and Awkward Situations

Craig and I are sitting in the hands of a giant statue, each on the other palm. We have a stupid idea, one that could get us killed or in a lot of trouble. I have a light in my hand that shines either green or orange. In the distance I see an orange light. Our idea is that we use the orange light we have to lure in the giant moth, which is glowing in the distance, to us and then turn off the light and laugh at its confusion. It starts to turn around and come our way when we notice a car pull up behind us. Man and his very fat wife get out, aim a rifle at us and fire. A tranquilizer dart ricochets off of the finger of the hand I’m sitting. As he tries to reload I sprint at him as fast as I can, trying to get him before he has a chance to shoot. He drops it when he sees me coming and runs a little distance before taking cover behind a rock. The wife comes at me with a knife and I hit her with the gun and as she’s stumbling back I shoot her with the dart, knocking her unconscious. The man now has a handgun and before he gets off more than a couple of shots at me, Craig takes him out. We realize then that we are at a very odd looking crime scene and that we probably look like the bad guys as our attackers were fairly old and unassuming in appearance. We decide to hide in a nearby school’s theatre. There are people in it still, all bundled under sleeping bags watching the end credits of a movie and about to leave. Craig steals a sleeping bag as a disguise and we walk out of the theatre with the crowd. we realize then that we have to go to a harmonica jam session at the house where the people whom we had just been attacked by and beaten up live. We figured it would be awkward but went anyway. The wife comes in, bruise on her face from the butt end of the gun, carrying a plate of cookies and the man is sitting on his couch, sipping coffee and giving us the ol’ stink eye. My uncle Rick is there too, but has no idea what is going on between all of us. There are moths fluttering around the room the whole time and I start to hit them out of the air at random and the man winces every time I do. I then realize that he is either a moth as well or is using the moths for some evil plan; It was just common sense at the time. I keep smacking the moths to annoy him as I am still bitter about the whole trying-to-kill-me thing. craig and I keep making little remarks about the other night and how we came out on top and that moths are stupid and he can barely keep in his anger. My uncle leaves the room for a moment and the man finally lets known what he thinks of me. he tells me off, insulting me, my family, my upbringing and everything I hold dear. My attention slips and I look out the window at some windmills in the distance, completely ignoring his surely scathing words. the only thing I hear is mumbling nonsense, almost white noise, from the man and Craig laughing at how I’m ignoring him.

UBBT: First Ramble o' the New Year

Well, I'm in over my head. The year is just started and I feel like I am already behind.
This is a wild card for me right now. I have no idea what to expect except for sore muscles. I’m slapping things together to organize what I need to do into some kind of manageable system because I am one of the most disorganized people I know. I asked for a large whiteboard for Xmas, a pedometer as well, just made a spreadsheet to track my numbers day to day and there’s a list of things as long as my arm of things I’m still doing to get ready for this as well as the new semester of school. I’m also a procrastinator. I like to do things at the last possible second and hope for the best. This coming year I can’t afford to procrastinate. I have to do this stuff every day. Not only that, but I need to stay focused and think this stuff every day. Yup, this is going to be hard. But, that’s the reason I got into it. I don’t want to have time to be lazy, I waste so much time doing it as it is.
Best Case Scenario: This Test helps me change some bad habits, helps me get into good shape and teaches me valuable life lessons that I’ll cherish forever.
Worst Case Scenario: Nothing changes, I fail.  This is doubtful. There is such a good group of people in on this with me that I don’t see this happening.
Sleep time. I need to get up and be productive tomorrow. I promise my next blog won’t be such a disjointed ramble.